There's no proper modern day equivalent to an e30 318is...

Let me elaborate, while the 335i was the best car I've ever owned and a fantastically capable machine in every way! A massive chunk of its' power is wasted, generally the bigger the engine the longer the diff ratio / gearing and in a car that would crack 200km/h+ in absolutely no time at all without breaking a sweat and when it is designed to happily sit at that speed all day long in total comfort (on the autobahn), it is no surprise that - in Ireland - on a spirited backroad drive or even on the motorway you will barely get out of 2nd gear and have to hold back (if you intend on keeping your license), something else that comes into play is the steering ratio, again, when it's designed to cruise at silly speeds on the autobahn, it's naturally a wider/longer ratio so that it isn't twitchy, this naturally makes it slower to respond at slower speeds (eg back road blast etc) and so ruins the fun (suddenly adaptive steering makes a lot of sense!) anyway, this isn't just on the e9x 335i, on e36s a 318is has a 3.45 ratio while a 323/328i have a 2.93 ratio, and again e46s a 320ci has a 3.38 ratio, a 325ci a 3.15 ratio and a 330ci has a super long 2.93 ratio.

The big engined cars have impressive figures but what's the point if it only serves to make the car's top speed 250km/h instead of 230km/h? It's irrelevant.. I know driving enthusiasts are meant to buy an M and that the non-M big engined BMWs are just capable cruisers, but that's bullshit, what if you want a "baby" M? What if you want something with the essence of an ///M car but without all the massive costs? What if you want something with a lovely - not massively powerful and irrelevant - revvy engine, with a lovely useable power delivery, lovely short throw 6 speed manual transmission, lovely (not obnoxiously loud) engine/exhaust note, a sexy lightweight, subtle, stylish, purposeful body, small wheels, rear wheel drive and an LSD? Where do you turn? This is the gap in the market! The closest thing to this was a friend's 116i I drove a few days ago which had the most perfect suspension, steering, and gearing set up in any car I've been in recently but (aside from being especially visually-challenged in 5 door SE guise) was lacking power, a 6th gear, and sounded just awful.

I find myself trawling through forums and car websites not finding the "goldie locks car" any suggestions?

Despite my username, I'm done with e36s (at least for now), e46 (and equivalent Z4) 325 isn't quite right, e46 330 has super long gears, 318 is slow and has the troublesome 4 pot. I haven't driven a 320 yet and I suspect (hope) that may be the closest thing to what I'm after with a 6 pot, useable power and a 3.38 diff ratio. Yes they burn oil and leak etc etc but maybe, just maybe, it's the right car for me, possibly with a nice exhaust upgrade to hear the 6 pot sing.

I know on paper an MX-5 would be the ideal car for me, but they're all hideous things except for the brand new ND model (don't have 30k to spend on one nor would I spend 30k on one), GT86 would be ideal on paper as well but still far too expensive, MR2 too old, MRS too hideous, 350z too expensive to buy/run (may as well have an e46 M3). What other car could potentially fit the bill? I have a budget of 5-6k which should certainly be a fair budget for something decent!